iHire A New Techy
by UberVenkman
Summary: Following an ordeal with camera problems, Aaron Slive and his crew are hired to help film iCarly. But when Sam fires Aaron and his crew, all hope seems to be lost. But can even some of the rudest people change their minds?
1. Fredward, We Have A Problem

"In 5, 4, 3, 2!"

"I'm not Carly!"

"I'm not Sam!"

"But this is still _iCarly!_"

Freddie smiled. Sam and Carly were always this silly on an _iCarly_ web show.

"Today's show, we're gonna show you how to make a sandwich with your toes!" Carly said gleefully.

"Courtesy of mama," Sam said, holding her bare feet up.

Freddie did a close up of Sam's feet. But when he brought the camera up, Sam was giving him an icy stare.

"I had a goofy look on, and all you could focus on was the feet!" she snapped.

"Sam, don't…" Freddie began. "Oh, boy…"

The camera dropped and viewers around the world saw static on their screens before Carly grabbed the camera.

"Umm, we are experiencing technical difficulties," she said. "So please enjoy this photo of Spencer running away from a pizza delivery guy!"

She sighed as she put the camera down. She looked down at the ground. Sam was still the strongest, but Freddie had managed to throw a few bloody noses into their fight.

"You'll pay for that, Fredward!" she shouted.

Carly grabbed an emergency air horn from the studio shelf and blasted it.

Freddie and Sam stopped fighting and stood to attention.

"You guys have to stop!" Carly exclaimed.

"Fredward here started it!" Sam yelled.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

Suddenly, Spencer came crashing through the door with a fire extinguisher and extinguished Carly, Sam and Freddie head to toe with foamy carbon dioxide.

Carly coughed. "Spencer, what was that for?" she gasped.

"Where's the fire? I heard a horn!" Spencer yelled.

Carly grabbed the air horn and blew it again.

Spencer looked at the extinguisher and threw it away as he walked out. Unfortunately, he knocked Sam down.

"First time I've ever seen that happen!" Freddie snickered.

A hand popped up from the floor and pulled him down.

Carly grabbed the camera. This was the perfect opportunity for a good show.

"We're back on _iCarly_!" she said with a rather forced enthusiasm. "Tonight, we see Freddie and Sam dogfighting with fire extinguisher foam!" She paused and looked at the 2 fighting kids. She was pretty sure that carbon dioxide wasn't supposed to be that color. "Umm, but the following scene may contain content not suitable for children!"

* * *

Spencer and Carly were washing Sam and Freddie's faces off with water and cleaning any cuts with alcohol.

"You know, you guys are almost 16!" Carly said. "You really ought to grow up!"

"Fredward here…"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Freduardo needs to get another camera rigged to give us a dual shot of my face and my feet!" Sam continued.

"I can't do that!" Freddie complained. Carly rubbed off some blood. "Could you do that again?" he asked flirtilly. Carly gave him an icy stare. "Sorry," Freddie said. "Anyway, to get 2 shots, I need a second cameraman!"

"Why not just used the mounted camera?" asked Carly.

"It takes very sophisticated controls to make that move like a handheld camera," Freddie said in a matter-of-factly way. "If I could build one, I'd still need someone to handle it!"

"Who could possibly live up to your standards?" asked Carly.

"Fredward, we have a problem," said Sam.

There was a pause. But not for long.

"Aah!" Spencer complained. "Now we have to clean up more blood!"


	2. iFind Aaron

The next day at school, Freddie, Sam and Carly stood by the lockers.

"There's got to be someone who's as big a techy as you!" Carly said.

"There are probably better ones," Sam said sarcastically.

"Don't," Carly said as Freddie balled his fist.

A few seconds later, a kid walked by. He was holding an RCA Digital Camera.

"Hey, nice camera," Freddie complimented.

"Thanks," said the kid. "I do short videos on the website you guys run."

Carly took a closer look. "Hey, you're that kid who posted the video with the pizza that exploded," she said, recognizing him. "Armand, right?"

"Aaron," the kid corrected. "Aaron Slive. My parents just moved to Seattle, and they decided that Ridgeway seemed like a reasonable place to go to school."

"How did you do the pizza video?" asked Sam.

"Simple," said Aaron. "I used special explosives called 'snaps'. It's a technique some online filmmakers use to blow up small things. I simply placed the snaps inside the dough, and activated them a good distance away."

"You know a lot about filming," Freddie mused.

"I try," Aaron said. "You might want to stand away from the lockers," he added.

The iCarly gang walked away from the lockers, confused about this unusual request.

Aaron had his camera on. "Action!" he yelled.

"Firing up!" someone yelled.

"Fire in the hole!" another voice yelled.

Without warning, there was a loud bang, and the door to one of the lockers blew off its hinges in a firebomb as big as the Great Fire of London.

"You damaged a locker!" Carly exclaimed, gasping.

"Not at all," said Aaron.

The iCarly gang looked. There wasn't a single burn mark to be found on the lockers. The only sign that something had exploded was the fact that the area where the hinges had been was slightly charred.

"I used a special gas that makes smoke and a bit of fire, but is otherwise harmless," Aaron explained. "With a few snaps in the hinges—voila!"

"That's even better then when mom poured baking soda and vinegar into the toilet!" Sam exclaimed.

Everyone stared at her.

"What?" she asked. "It's not a good sight."

"Why did you just film all that?" asked Freddie.

"My next film project," Aaron explained. "I'm making a new short film called 'Random Explosions'. I'm planning on putting it on ."

"You know, we could use someone who is as good a filmmaker as you," said Carly.

Aaron took out a snap, threw it into the air and activated it. There wasn't much smoke, but it was enough to activate the smoke alarm.

"Perhaps," he said, throwing the activator away, leaving with the crowd of students evacuating. It landed in Freddie's hands.

Mr. Howard walked out of the office. He glared at the activator and the remains of the snap. "Freddie Benson!" he yelled.

Freddie stuttered. "But I…"

"You've just earned yourself double detention!" Mr. Howard yelled.

Freddie sulked as he walked outside.

"I like the kid's style," Sam said.

Carly gave her a funny look, but shrugged in agreement.


	3. My Name Is

Although Aaron was definitely the best choice for assistant cameraman, the _iCarly_ gang decided that they should still hold open auditions before they made any big choices.

To do this, a long table was placed in the _iCarly_ studio. People would walk up to the iCarly gang and try out the camera and showed them some tricks.

The first kid was a girl who was wearing some very revealing clothes.

"It's a bribe," Carly whispered to Freddie. "Pay attention to her performance, not her abs."

"What?" asked Freddie. "Oh! Yes, of course!"

"My name is Jessica," said the girl. "I'm 13 years old, and I'm one of the greatest camerawomen in the world."

"Really?" Sam asked sarcastically.

"Let me show you," Jessica said, grabbing a camera. She accidently dropped it.

Freddie had been staring at Jessica, but now he was staring in shock at the camera. "That cost me 780 bucks!" he screeched.

"Do I get a job?" Jessica asked hopefully. She obviously thought the clothes could get her the job.

"NO!" everyone yelled.

* * *

The next kid was someone named Jared. He had a very interesting way of talking.

"My name is Jared," he said in an emotionless voice. "I'm 15 years old. I am a good cameraman. Isn't that great?" There was a very awkward pause. "Hello?"

The iCarly gang had been staring at Jared in shock. "What?" Carly asked. "I mean, hello, Jared? Could you demonstrate your cameraman work?"

Jared took the camera and simply stood with it.

"Try turning it on," said Freddie.

"How?" asked Jared.

"Flick the button!" yelled Sam.

"Which one?"

"OUT!" everyone yelled.

* * *

"My name is…"

"Germy, out!"

"But I didn't even audition yet!"

"You're a hazard to iCarly and everyone in it! Out!"

Carly leaned over to Sam. "Just give him a chance. Germy, grab the camera and turn it on."

"Are you sure this will work?" Freddie whispered. "Remember how disastrous things went when he replaced me?"

"This'll have to do!" Carly said. "Germy, I want you to hold the camera and film a short film."

Germy started to move around with the camera, but sneezed. There was a loud fizzing, and the camera started smoking.

"Get out!" yelled Freddie.

* * *

The final kid was someone named Bomb Voyage. He had hair as if it had been permanently gelled up, and his clothes were tattered. All over his body were small bombs.

"My name is Bomb Voyage!" he screeched in a psychotic voice. "I blow things up! I will be the best cameraman you'll ever know!"

"God save us," Freddie cursed.

"We can't let him do the audition," Carly whispered. "He could blow up the studio!"

"I'll handle this," said Sam. She handed Bomb Voyage the camera. "Do you, Mr. Voyage, happen to have rocket boots?"

"I built them! I like things that go boom! They're on my shoes!"

"How do you activate them?" Sam asked.

"By pressing the button on my belt!"

"This one?" Sam asked, pressing it.

"Wait!" yelled Bomb Voyage. The boots activated, and he went crashing through the ceiling of the studio.

"There he goes," Sam said, looking up.

"There goes my camera," Freddie moaned.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash, and a camera fell onto the floor.

"Seems fine," Carly mused, despite the fact that the camera was charred.

The camera imploded into a massive fireball.

"There goes my allowance for the next 5 months," Freddie sniffed.

Suddenly, the table caught fire. The gang backed away. Carly grabbed the air horn and blasted it.

Spencer came running up, and extinguished the table, and most of Carly.

"Thank you," Carly sputtered.


	4. It's Not Rocket Science

After a Saturday full of explosions, revealing clothing, and the flu, the _iCarly_ gang decided it would be best if they went to the park to think.

Freddie went by a corn dog stand and bought several corn dogs.

"One for Carly, one for me, and 15 for Sam," he said.

Carly bit into her corn dog and looked suspiciously at Freddie. "How did you know how many corn dogs Sam would want?"

"I didn't become her victim for no reason," Freddie said.

A corn dog flew past his head.

* * *

The gang sat on a bench by a pond and just thought.

"I guess Aaron is the most reasonable choice," Carly said.

"I wonder where he is?" Sam wondered out loud.

Suddenly, Aaron's voice rang out. "Fire in the whole!" he yelled. There was a loud bang, and a model rocket flew into the sky. There was another bang, and the top capsule of the rocket disconnected from the main engine. There was a further bang, and a parachute popped out of the capsule and helped it glide into the pond.

"Splashdown a success!" Aaron cheered, walking over by the bench. Some boys followed him.

"What was that about?" Carly asked.

"We're still filming the explosions video," Aaron explained. "We built a camera to place in the main rocket. It's transmitting a digital image. For the first time, viewers will be able to see the inside of an explosion!"

"Where's the rocket?" asked Freddie. "The main capsule came down!"

Aaron pointed up. The tube was light, so it was falling rather slowly. Aaron grabbed a walkie-talkie. "Spike," he radioed. "Activate the snap."

The tube exploded.

"There goes your camera," said Freddie.

Aaron took out his laptop. "But we got some cool footage!" he exclaimed. He showed them the live footage. "Hey…" he said. "We're still getting a signal! The camera's tumbling down to the ground into…"

Freddie suddenly fell forward. "Why do these things always happen to me?" he groaned, rubbing his head.

"Hey, it's not rocket science," Aaron said, shrugging. He paused. "Oh, wait, yes it is."

"You've got some pretty good techniques," said Sam. "Would you like to be the assistant cameraman?"

"Well," Aaron said, scratching his chin. "I've got my film crew. Couldn't they help out, too?"

"You'll be the support team!" Carly said.

Aaron's friends high fived.

Freddie leaned over to Carly. "Something tells me this is gonna end badly," he murmured.

Carly didn't say anything, but Freddie could tell that she agreed.


	5. The Door Isn't Open

Later that week, Spencer was in the kitchen, making a ham and cheese sandwich, and then some.

"Some mustard," he said in a slow voice.

There was a knock on the door.

"Coming!" Spencer yelled. He took some lettuce. "Some iceberg…"

Suddenly, the door opened. Aaron and his crew walked in with their cameras and SFX.

Spencer stared at the open door. "How'd you guys get it open?" he asked.

"That creepy doorman in the lobby gave us a key," Aaron replied.

"But he didn't have to be so rude about it!" one of Aaron's friends complained.

Spencer went over to his phone and dialed the lobby. "Hello, Lewbert?" he asked

_"WHAT?"_ Lewbert screamed.

"Listen," Spencer said, covering his ears slightly. Wow, that doorman sure had a voice. "Listen, did you give 3 kids the keys to our apartment?"

_"WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?"_

"Well, what if the Shadowhammer came by and asked for our keys, or at least Freddie's keys?"

_"NOT MY PROBLEM!"_

A beep was heard. Lewbert had hung up.

"So…" Spencer said, frowning. "Carly's waiting for you guys upstairs."


	6. It's All Technical

Carly, Sam and Freddie were waiting for Aaron and his crew when they finally came up.

"Right on schedule," Carly said pleasantly, looking at her watch.

"We try," said Aaron. "Now, we're gonna set up the studio. We need to find out camera movements, where we film, and what bits and bobs we can add."

Carly handed him a stack of cards. "These are the plans. For our next show we plan to have Gibby and Spencer doing some random jumping on a trampoline, Freddie showing us the audition footage, and Sam and I doing the hula."

Aaron looked closely at the cards. "What does TBA mean?"

"It means that for now, there's nothing scheduled for that part," said Freddie.

"Faulty planning on Fredweirdo's part," Sam said, biting into a fruit bar.

"Watch it, Sam," Freddie said, frowning.

"Well, we can show the explosions video," said one of Aaron's friends. "We're in the middle of editing, so it'll be finished by the end of the week."

"Fine then," said Aaron. "Let's start blocking everything."

* * *

As Carly and Freddie had thought, Sam wasn't going very easy with Aaron and his crew.

When one of Aaron's friends had the camera down to rest his arm, Sam said, "Don't do that."

"Do what?" asked the kid. His name was Dawn.

"Holding the camera like that. It's even weirder then Fredisco."

"I heard that," Freddie said.

"So?" asked Sam. "Anyway, I'll be distracted by your ugly camera position."

Dawn gave a sarcastic laugh. "I don't believe this! You think that resting my arm is ugly?"

"It's uglier than my mom," Sam said.

"Didn't you make up with her in the therapy box?" asked Carly.

"Yeah. So?" asked Sam.

"Never mind," Carly said.

* * *

Later, Aaron's friend Spike was setting up several snaps for the hula dance; whenever Carly and Sam pointed at something, the snaps would blow up on command.

"Where do you want the snaps?" Spike asked Sam.

"There," Sam said, pointing to the table. "No wait, over there. No, that just looks weird."

Spike groaned.

"How about over here?" said Sam, pointing to the counter. "No, it'll look funny."

"Make up your mind!" Spike complained.

"Mama doesn't follow orders," Sam growled. "No wait! I've got it! Put them in Freddie's pants!"

Freddie was ready to fight Sam again. But he didn't need to, for Spike had thrown a good punch in Sam's mouth.

Sam sputtered. "That's it!" she yelled. "You guys are fired!"

"What?" Carly gasped. "You can't fire them! They're our technical crew!"

"So technically, I can fire them!" Sam snapped. "Out!"

Aaron's crew sighed, and started packing up.

"Guys, stay!" Carly said. "We need you to help out!"

"We're not staying around her!" said Dawn.

As Dawn and Spike left, Aaron paused, and looked back into the studio.

"If you want to get things done, you have to work as a team," he said. He walked out, closing the door behind them.

There was a very awkward pause.

"Out," Carly whispered.

Sam glared at her. "Excuse me?"

"Out of my house," Carly frowned. "Out before I fire you."

Sam shrugged and walked out. Freddie thought for a moment. Suddenly, he started packing up.

"Why are you doing that?" asked Carly.

"Just as Aaron said, if you want to get things done, you have to work as a team," said Freddie. "And I don't think _iCarly_ can run without a team.

Freddie was finished packing, and he walked out of the studio. Carly paused. The room had an eerie feeling with only her inside.

Spencer ran in. "Hey, I just threw baking soda and vinegar into the toi…"

Carly grabbed the air horn and blasted it in Spencer's face. Spencer ran out of the studio in fright.


	7. Teamwork in Action

Sam walked down the streets. It was drizzling, but she didn't have a coat, so she just shivered while licking a fruit bar.

"Why does everyone blame me for Aaron leaving?" she said to herself. "Spike punched me in the face. He should have left in guilt."

She paused. Some fruit bar juice had dribbled onto her hands.

"Hairy fingers," she cursed.

"Interesting choice of words," said a voice.

Sam jumped, and looked to her right. Aaron was leaning against an alleyway, with his arms crossed.

"What's it to you?" Sam asked. "I had you and your friends fired. You shouldn't even be speaking to me."

"I'm not like most kids," Aaron said, unfolding his arms. He stuck his hands in his pocket and started walking down the alley. Sam followed. The alley was a bit smelly, but Sam had seen worse.

"I got an email from Freddie. Carly kicked you out of the studio," Aaron said.

"Yeah. I guess that means we're no longer friends," Sam frowned.

"It's happened before," Aaron commented. "And you guys made up."

"That was different," Sam explained. "The splitting was because of Fleck and Dave. This time, it's because of me. Carly will never forgive me."

"Friendship is a very fragile thing," said Aaron. "It is very easy to break, and very hard to build again."

"Eh, I'll make plenty of friends," Sam said, finishing up the last of her fruit bar.

"Maybe," Aaron said. "But you'll never have another friend like Carly."

Suddenly, they heard footsteps. A group of men in sweatshirts were closing in on them, with several odd weapons, like a bat, a garbage can cover, and a switchblade.

"Give us your money," one growled.

"You know, I think this would be a lot more dramatic if this were in front of a lot of people," said Aaron.

One of the men grabbed Aaron, covered his mouth with his hand, and took out the blade.

"Give me your money, or you die," he growled.

Sam felt helpless. She had gotten herself into the worst situation ever.

Aaron said with his eyes, _Try knocking them out! It'll be a good distraction!_

Sam nodded. She took the popsicle stick from the fruit bar and whapped one of the men's faces with it. When the man stumbled, she gave him a good sock in the groin.

Next, she grabbed the garbage can cover from one man and another from a nearby can, and banged them like 2 symbols against his head. The man shuddered, then fell backwards.

The man holding Aaron held him tighter. "You get closer kid, you die!" he growled.

Aaron opened up his mouth slightly, and licked the man's hand.

"AAAAHHHH!" the man screeched, rubbing his hand off on his shirt. Aaron kicked him in the groin, and down he went.

"Another thing about friends," he grinned. "They help each other in some of the toughest situations."

Sam had to smile. "Come on," she said. "Let's go help Carls do the best webshow since our pilot!


	8. And the Winner Is

"I'm Carly!"

"I'm Sam!"

"And this is _iCarly_!"

"Featuring special effects by Aaron Slive and the Blast Lab!" Sam said excitedly.

"Tonight, we have Random Trampoline Jumping!" Carly said gleefully.

"Audition footage from our open auditions for assistant cameraman!"

"And 'Random Explosions' by Aaron Slive and the Blast Lab!"

Aaron looked at Sam and winked. Sam smiled.

* * *

After Gibby and Spencer's jumping, the audition footage was shown. Aaron was shocked at how stupid the people who auditioned looked.

"They actually had the guts to come here?" he said in wonder.

After the auditions, "Random Explosions" was played. Seconds after the final shot played, Aaron gave the cue.

Certain areas of the _iCarly_ studio had snaps in them. When the cue was given, Spike pressed a button.

Fireballs went flying around throughout the studio!

Suddenly, there was a crash, and down came Bomb Voyage!

"Did I get the job?" he asked, dazed.

Aaron inspected Bomb Voyage's gadgets. "Are you unemployed?" he asked, curiously.

"Would you like a demonstration?" Bomb Voyage asked pleasantly.

"Clear the building!" Freddie screamed. Cameras were dropped as everyone except Aaron and Bomb Voyage went running out of the studio.

"What was that about?" asked Aaron.

"You tell me," said Bomb Voyage, shrugging. "Now, about that demonstration…"


End file.
